Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Back in the World of Work!

Quick post to say that I have started work part-time! It's fantastic to feel part of the world again. My employers have been very understanding about my health and have been telling me not to over do it. I am feeling very lucky to have found a job that is flexible enough to fit in with having M.E. It has been hard this week, after so long out of work/life it's been very tiring and a bit of a shock to the system. I've been working part-time but it feels like full time! Absolutely exhausted today. I have the day off tomorrow to catch up on some energy before Friday. I'm having to be very careful as I'm so tired and starting to feel a bit run down already. The next few weeks are going to be all about pacing myself and adjusting to a new routine.

I get very stressed very easily when tired, I am a terrible perfectionist too which is also exhausting as I'm constantly trying to push myself to do things to an unreachable ideal level. As far as work goes I have had to constantly remind myself that I am able to do my job well and I have to stop myself stressing out about things when I should be relaxing. Easier said than done but I am getting there. My confidence is growing slowly as a result of the projects I am working on. I will keep going and hopefully things will become natural to me and easier to cope with.

Going to spend the next few weeks resting as much as I can between working. If it weren't for my Mum cooking me dinner I probably wouldn't have had the energy to eat properly for the last few days. Thank goodness for understanding parents! I over-did it last weekend which has probably contributed to my exhaustion this week. I went to visit friends and family, I don't get to go out with friends much so it was great to see them and have a night out, but it also left me with very little reserve energy for the week ahead. It's so hard to juggle work and rest! In some ways though work has made me feel better, mentally I'm really enjoying being a part of something again and earning my own money. Even though it isn't enough to support myself on, it's still loads better for my self esteem than being on jobseekers allowance.

I still haven't had any formal responses to my complaint letter to the jobcentre/working links (reproduced in the post below). As there is a postal strike on, I am giving them the benefit of the doubt. I do hope it achieves some good and isn't just dismissed or ignored. I am currently considering applying for a DLA to help with my low income and lack of ability to support myself, I haven't yet mustered the strength to finish filling out the form. It's such a long form and anything to do with benefits instantly stresses me out and depresses me now. I still feel that people at this stage of illness get little or no support. I did meet a very kind person on facebook who has offered to advise me on completing the form which is a big help, as yet I haven't had time or energy to do it though. Hopefully I'll have it done by the end of the week.

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